Don't Feel Sorry For Me, Darling

Lately I have become the single girls' greatest cheerleader.

I write about singleness a lot, I know. But it's relevant to almost everyone at some point in their life, and something I personally wrestle with often. I've been on a strong kick over the past month or so. I'm not sure if it was something I read or what clicked in my mind, but I've been growing in my desire to change the culture surrounding singleness. It has been so frustrating over the course of my young adult life to constantly be asked if I have a boyfriend as if that's the most important aspect of my life. It is uncomfortable to be talked down to as if my life has not reached its potential because I'm alone. The comments about how great my wedding will be or how any guy would be lucky or how someday my freaking prince will come are all meant in love, I know. I know my family and friends only want me to be loved as they love me.

But I will not be felt sorry for should that never happen for me. 

I have not become so extreme that I never want marriage or family, etc. I do still believe those are in the cards for me. What bothers me the most is the thought that until that season of my life comes, it sometimes feels as if nothing else counts. Nothing else until that point matters. A relationship or marriage is arguably the peak of life in our culture today. Don't even get me started on southern culture, much less southern Christian culture... whether subconscious or not, people can't help but feel sorry for someone in their late twenties or, God forbid, thirties who is alone. Though it may never be said aloud, they are automatically seen as less successful, happy, fulfilled, fill-in-the-blank.

I wish I wish I wish I could change the attitude around singleness overnight. It's not even others' opinion of me that matters. I don't hate love or marriage... those who know me know that is far from the truth. What I hate is that there are girls out there who feel the pressure I did and the disappointment and failure that can follow. I know the types of sacrifices and changes that girls will make in their lives because of those feelings. It breaks my heart to hear girls question their identity or their standards because of their relationship status. I hate the desperation and hopelessness. I hate that people feel like a less successful, joyful, influential person than someone in a relationship.

Even my purest desires to reflect Christ and the church in marriage have been twisted around in my heart to become a measure of influence and effectiveness. I am sad for that girl who believes that God is punishing her or not paying attention to her. I once held that belief that I wanted it too much or that my desires weren't pure enough for God to give me what I wanted. It's this misunderstanding of singleness that can lead to a misunderstanding of God, and that hurts me.

Single women need to feel empowered and influential, because they are. I have felt so small and alone before, but I think we let our voices falter and grow quiet when that happens. If only we could look up and see our sisters alongside us that make up the majority.

I can still be all the things I want to be... called to be even, without a husband. In the Old Testament, the commandment was to be fruitful and multiply. But with the new covenant, the commandment is now make disciples of all nations. Jesus has brought us such a gift here. How freeing is that! This whole idea that I need to be married and have children in order to best serve God and live out His commission is sooooo old covenant. I dare someone to even think a thought like that in my direction.

Y'all, I believed that lie for so long. I only let myself dream to the limits of a perfect relationship. Marriage is a beautiful adventure that my heart craves deeply, but for shame if that is all my life consists of. May my perspective be reimagined and my heart be given freedom to cast vision with the God of creation.

I believe God has so much more for me and you, my friend. Whenever I start to feel stuck or restless or overwhelmed, I feel Him gently reminding me of that promise. He has infinitely more for us.

For My Heart And Mind

I don't think I am the best at handling anxiety. Certainly not the worst, but it can really get to me.

I would not say I'm a particularly anxious person, but I think in my unhealthier state of being I am. I can feel it sink in my heart like a brick. My mind becomes restless and chaotic as it circles around this one thing that's causing a change in my mental and physical state. Depending on what it is, my stomach will feel unsettled; and it can be hard to breathe.

I would be curious to know if I'm very good at hiding this. I don't think people would assume I'm a particularly anxious person, but those who know me well can probably see when my mind is preoccupied or my mood changes. Maybe even just the way I write about anxiety makes me an anxious person? I know a lot of friends who struggle with anxiety, and I feel like this word gets tossed around in modern day vocabulary fairly often... is this what it feels like? To what depth am I experiencing it?

What I have noticed is that I feel this way most often when I cannot control circumstances, feelings, etc. I don't love that because a majority of life is uncontrollable.

One situation in particular never ceases to throw off my rhythm.

Every time he comes back in my life some way or some how, I get chills. I feel like a cloud rests over my head, and I wish I could just fade into a shadow. I wish he didn't have this effect on me. Honestly I don't even think it's him that bothers me, but a reminder of a person I used to be.

I regret that person, so much so that I have tears in my eyes just writing this. In that relationship, I was someone I am not. My eyes were blinded by selfishness, and I turned my back against a God who has given me everything in pursuit of fleeting infatuation. I am ashamed of that girl. What bothers me is that he thought he knew me then, but little does he realize I despise that girl. I cringe when I think of her; and to think that he believes he knew the real me makes me feel sick.

And I know that shame doesn't come from the Lord, but sometimes it still haunts me. It shows up when he shows up, and that's why I feel the need to run. My spirit gets restless and my heart races, not in the excitement way but more like a cardiac arrest way!? My world seems to stop, and I'm paralyzed in fear and regret. I don't want to be reminded of who I once was.

I cling to Philippians 4:7 in these moments, where Paul writes that the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. That verse means so much to me. I love the verbiage here... the word guard is actionable and protective. He mentions both our hearts and our minds; I think that's important. I need peace for both the heaviness in my heart and chaos in my mind. John 14:27 says the peace He gives to us is not given as the world does. This gives me rest. The world doesn't give freely or offer a kind of peace that lasts like the divine.

I pray for peace, and God is kind enough to give of Himself extravagantly. He doesn't hold back no matter how often I need it. When shame threatens to consume me, the Lord brings me to tears with His endless grace. He smiles at me and beckons me closer to Him no matter what I've done or whatever I will do in the future. The fact that I am broken is no surprise to Him.

Even as I write this, a small piece of me is grateful for the anxiety I feel toward this situation and really in general. It turns me back to the arms of the Father in desperation and hope. Anxiety is not from God; and obviously I wish I could learn without experiencing the unpleasant life events, but it's humbling to know my greatest shame will be used for good. It will always be used to bring Him glory. As All Sons and Daughters writes, He takes brokenness aside and makes it beautiful.

I Am Not Small

I care a lot about what people think. It’s not my best quality, and I know that. Sometimes I care too much, and I’m working on that. I can’t imagine I’m alone in feeling this way. In fact, I think most people care about what at least someone thinks of them. 

Knowing that makes me cautious with what I say and do with the dreams that live in peoples’ hearts. What an honor it is for someone to share a dream or desire with you. Our reactions, our words, our attitudes can have more weight than we realize. Are we breathing life into this person or turning off a light in them? I want to be on the side that believes in someone. Even just an eye roll or an attitude of disbelief has been enough to discourage me from doing what I really want. It’s more than just caring about the opinion of others; but fuel to the fear of failure that lives within me. 

These days I am careful who I share my dreams with. And sometimes I am guilty of minimizing my dreams for the sake of others. 

The other day, I came to the realization that I am constantly trying to make myself smaller, and not in the best way. There is a difference between humility and not stepping in to the person that God has created me to be. Humility doesn’t mean my confidence is shot. It doesn’t mean I can’t be proud of who I am, and the person I have fought to become.

God has given me a life and gifts that I should be proud of. Again, not in a boastful way, but in a way that is honorable and confident. Depending on who I’m talking to, I will alter the way I speak about my life to fit their standard for me. Why can’t I just be confident in all that God has given me stewardship over?

Staying

Alrighty folks, it's about to get long and personal here.

It's been hard to put into words all that God has been doing in my life. I get so overwhelmed with where to begin, and this post will only scratch the surface. Buuuut, I've promised to be as vulnerable and authentic as possible, so here I am still without all the answers but sharing anyways. I think we need more of that. More transparency. More of the process... let's get into the nitty-gritty meaty portion of our lives where we're still figuring things out and not just the end results tied up in a nice, neat package.

Lately God has been releasing me from the need to have control. To know what comes next. It's always been comforting to me to have plans and lists. I just like to know. But as you enter into the post-grad world, there is a vast land of both endless opportunity and a whole lot of nothing. You can do anything, but at the same time feel helplessly frozen into nothing.

What happens when you're out of logical "next steps?"

No grad school. No boyfriend. A lot of dreams, but slow-moving ambition.

Just tryin' to be real here.

So throughout my internship here at Disney, I've constantly deliberated between do I stay, or do I go? What am I doing with my life? What do I want to do with my life?

A Very Brave Year

My word for this year is brave.

I've been thinking a lot about 2018, and how I feel about it. I think it was one of the most beautiful years of my life, but also really hard. Not hard in a way that made me want to escape and just get through it, but in a way that was refining and full of gratitude. The hard parts have me really thankful.

I'm realizing I did a lot of brave things this year, but bravery is not what I thought it was.

The beginning of this year held the most uncertainty, but also a lot of hope. My last semester of college was upon me. I had no plans, but hope that God would swoop in and bring direction as He is known to do. But even with hope and belief that God would provide for me, I was the most scared I've ever been in my life. I cried a lot... in church, in the car, in the night as I fell asleep... purely out of the crushing weight of fear.

I was struggling with taking the necessary steps to prepare for the future while also trusting that God would provide while also pressing in close to the relationships around me. Even though I would be graduating soon, I didn't want to pull away from the people I loved so much in order to spare myself of heartbreak. Goodbyes and change are painful, and it would've been easier to back away slowly and put up walls to prepare for inevitable parting.

But here is where I found bravery.

Be Brave And Let Go

I am what some would call a hopeless romantic.

Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday. I'm a sucker for the cheesy rom-coms, as in I will always watch and always cry. I always gravitate to the books with the pretty colorful covers in the Young Adult fiction section, even though I think I'm getting to be a lil old to be reading those. My friend, Reb, and I always listen to Sam Smith together; and recently I had tears in my eyes during one of the songs because it was just so beautiful.

But it's not just fiction that I love. I love stories of love. My first question when I meet couples is how they got together. Who made the first move? How did they know it was love? Jeez, I'm a sucker. And kind of nosy.

I have always been like that. And I think there's a part in all of us that hopes to be swept off our feet into a great love story.

But what if the knight in shining armor doesn't come? Or what if he's not who you thought he was?

Everyone always says that rom-coms create unrealistic expectations for us. I agree, and I disagree. The standard of perfection is a bit much, but it's not wrong to have high standards. We as humans are quite impressionable, so it's actually really important for media to create characters that bring a positive influence to our standards. I like that it's becoming normal for girls to look for their Peter Kavinsky (and yes, that was a plug for To All The Boys I've Loved Before hehe).

But back to the question of what if the prince doesn't come? Or actually, what if he doesn't come back?

The Celebration Of Differences

Hi friends.

Today I'm talking about something pretty personal and close to my heart. Lately I've been growing into something I didn't know I actually felt passionate about or needed to see value in...

And that's diversity.

Racial diversity is a hot topic these days, so I'm not going to claim to know all there is to know. There is no pretending to know how another person of another race feels, so I hope you'll read this knowing this is what I feel and what I know from my own Asian American perspective.

I did not grow up with a lot of diversity.

First of all, I am adopted for those who don't know. For some reason, I assume that everyone automatically knows; but I'll preface this post with that fact. I was raised all my life in a white household. My family is wonderful, and I know God handpicked them for me. We moved to Louisiana when I was in the third grade, and that's when I began to notice that I was different as one of the only Asian American students in the class, arguably the whole school. I noticed because I was constantly asked if I knew Chinese or martial arts. My eye shape and accent (or lack thereof) was mimicked by kids who didn't know better. I didn't even know better.

I noticed as I was expected to automatically be the smartest person in the room because I was Asian. It's flattering until you are in fact not the smartest person in the room and made to feel like there is something wrong with you. There were times when I was referred to as "the Asian," and I felt like I was expected fall into the stereotype of being nerdy, quiet, and meek. This was a nightmare as a typical middle/high schooler just wanting to fit in and be like everyone else.

I still notice when people don't believe my name is really my name or assume that I won't be able to communicate in English very well before even speaking with me.

My story is by no means the worst out there. I know that, and I will never play the game of comparison. But I think the bottom line is that I was made to feel different and that those differences weren't something to be celebrated.

It Matters That You're Here

Hey friends!

If you follow me on Instagram, you've probably seen that I've gotten to be a part of my very first book launch team for Come Matter Here by Hannah Brencher. This has been an honor and so exciting for me! I'm writing here today to not only encourage you to invest in this girl and her words, but also to share a part of my story and what this book means to me.

What Could Have Been

Geaux Garcia Photography

The other day I was driving back to Baton Rouge from Lake Charles, and thinking about what my number one piece of advice is to anyone... and it's that your life will never turn out like you think it will, and that it's okay. 

You can have big, beautiful, good dreams and plans for your life... sometimes they come to fruition and sometimes they don't. Something I have learned is that even if those good things don't come to pass, it doesn't mean the alternative is "bad." Your life may look different than you imagined; but it is okay because it will still be good, and God is still in the midst of it.

But I know that it doesn't always feel okay when your life goes through unexpected change. 

Lately I have been wrestling with a lot of mixed emotions upon graduating and a whirlwind of change. As I was praying and thinking about these things, I felt in my spirit words that I think bring relief to the need to have it all together.

And those words are that it's okay to mourn the what-could-have-been's. 

Single And Joyful: The Christmas Edition

I told myself I wasn't going to do it, but here I am.

I'm doing it anyways.

I'm writing another blog post on singleness.

And I'm not apologizing for it or for repeating what I've already written before in previous posts here and here, because I think we all need reminders of these truths now and then, ya know???

I'm writing this from a place of honesty and vulnerability, because I've been feelin' it lately. The loneliness. The self-pity. The doubt. The pressure. The dreaded question of "So, ya got a boyfriend yet?"

I don't know if there will ever be a time in singleness that the Enemy will not try and sneak in during this specific time of the year to try and steal our joy.

This time of year in which the world is magic. Everything is merry and bright and beautiful. The lights. The traditions. The gingerbread houses and Christmas trees. The parties for hosting, marshmallows for toasting, and caroling out in the snow. This time of year in which our hearts seem to feel the most, which brings forth great opportunity to love, but also great heartache. 

Can I be real here? (Rhetorical question, because I'm gonna get real so sit down and buckle up, people)

You see, I think Satan knows the real reason for the season. And he knows that if he can get us looking inward at ourselves and everything we lack in the relationship department, he can steal some of the spotlight from the celebration of our beautiful Savior.

Beauty In The Broken

There are two types of people in the world...

There are those who cry out to God and profess their love and devotion in the hard times and times of need, but ignore Him when life is going pretty swell. 

Then there are those who turn and worship God when the blessings rain down, but bail when it gets tough. 

Neither of these places are good to be in. I'm not saying this is a constant attitude in your walk with God; just a tendency toward one end of the scale than the other. 

I'm in the second category.

With the realization that all good things come from above, it's easy to give praise to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ when you feel #blessed. But when hard times come or things don't seem to be going your way, the presence of God is questioned in the midst of the mess. Suddenly it's easier to feel betrayed and frustrated at the lack of understanding in what is happening and why. 

I used to pray that the Lord would just zap away my pain in a matter of moments. I believed in faith in the power of Christ to bring healing in my brokenness. I wanted out of the painful season as soon as possible, and so that would be my prayer... God just wash away the pain, take me out of this now. 

But over time, the Lord has taught me something so incredibly sweet about His character in the midst of pain.

Two Years

Hey friends!

This month is a very special month for the blog because it has been two whole years since my first post (linked here)!

I first started writing as an outlet to share the life and times of Meaghan Mercy, but also to share what the Lord had been teaching me in hopes that He would use my experiences to speak to others. In the past two years, my blog has gone through some changes in content, some absence and inconsistency, and even a change in name (RIP Meaghan Unscripted). 

But as mentioned in previous posts, my vision for this blog found in the About Me tab still stands. That this space would always make room for authenticity, and that authenticity could always be found at the heart of every post.

I've learned a few things along the way... about myself, about the Lord, and about partnering in writing with Him.

Creating With Confidence

Hey friends.

Let me start by saying this is literally the 7th draft of a post I've been trying to write for a while now. See, it's been a good bit since I've written the type of thing I love to write... the stuff that's real and raw and relatable.

So what's been holding me back?

I could say it's busy-ness. Finals week was insane. I moved out of my apartment in Baton Rouge, back home to Lake Charles, only to move out again in a couple of weeks to Orlando (!!!!<- that's me panicking).

I could say it's writer's block. Whatever that means. Secretly I think writer's block is just an excuse for something deeper holding us back from writing what we want to write. Everyone has something to say; it's just figuring out how we want to say it.

For me, that "something" that's been holding me back lately is fear.

Single & Fulfilled: A Paradox

I never want to feel bad about being single.

That goes for whatever age I am… whether I’m twenty going on twenty-one or forty going on forty-one.

I say that because I think there’s an unhealthy stigma associated with singleness. If you’re single, it’s just a waiting game until you can achieve the nirvana that is a relationship. If you’re single, there’s a reason you’re single. If you’re single, don’t worry… you just haven’t found the “one” yet. If you’re single, please carry around this unnecessary pressure because you aren't getting any younger amiright?

I was raised to avoid dating in high school, because I believe the purpose of dating is for marriage. Naturally I wasn’t ready to get married in high school, so it probably wasn’t a good idea to date then. And I’m truly thankful for that mindset because personally it sure saved me a lot of heartache. I was waiting til college (because that’s where true adulthood lies…).

So I entered college as a freshman, prepared to meet my future husband and date and then get married after graduation. Freshman year came and went, and wow that pesky future husband hadn’t shown up yet. Sophomore year… still forever alone. And here I am, a junior in college, and the horizon for dating is quite empty.

I went into college with an expectation of finally getting a relationship. I had been a good Christian girl, sort-of patiently awaiting my time. And when that expectation wasn’t met, I found disappointment, frustration, and a good portion of self-doubt.

Hi, 2017

Hi, 2017.

I'm excited to meet you, as so many are.

I'm aware that we are already a whole 48 hours in to the new year, so that makes me a little late on posting my New Year's thoughts; but I hope my non-conformity/writing slack won't discredit me.

I'd like to say I don't fall prey to the idea that everything up until January 1, 2017 doesn't matter anymore and the whole "new year, new me" quips; but I do. I do fall prey. I don't think I can help it! There's a full 365 days ahead of me that I can do whatever I want with, and I never truly appreciated that until now. We tend to remember events in our lives by the year, and it's exciting to think that 2017 remains unblemished. There's something so thrilling about "new-ness." Something officially clean of whatever has happened in the past, and the fact that we can claim this year as our own.

But as beautiful as you are my new friend, 2016 was kind to me; and you have big shoes to fill.

A year ago, I was entering 2016 with anticipation and anxiety; for I would be spending exactly half of the year in a place of complete unfamiliarity. But what an adventurous half it turned out to be.

2016 gave me people. It gave me people from Australia and New Zealand and South Korea and all over the U.S. I love those people. I wish I could take every person's hands into my own and communicate how much their friendship is treasured... but I can't because that's literally so many people, and also that's weird.

I'll always look back on this year with a smile, but I won't say it didn't come without heartbreak.

The winter break has given me a lot of time to think, and my conclusion is that somewhere along the way, I lost myself.

The Price Of Authenticity

Everyone wants to be real.

Everyone wants to be authentic and vulnerable and deep.

We all want to skip past the first impressions, the small talk, the acquaintances stage of friendship and dive into the murky unknown of someone's soul.

I see it all over social media...

"I hate small talk. Let's have real conversation about life, your soul, something deep, blah blah blah."

Our society is begging for honesty and realness. We're done with the how do you do's and surface level conversation, and there is a craving for something deeper. There is a strong preference of having meaningful conversation rather than cheap and empty words.

But are we really ready to create the atmosphere of vulnerability that the world is craving?

I don't think so.

The world is crying out HONESTY. VULNERABILITY. AUTHENTICITY.

And yet we're not willing to put in the work to get there. If we expect more than cheap words, we have to be willing to pay the price for authenticity. I think there are two basic roadblocks to reaching our goal.

The War Between Remembering And Forgetting

To the one who can't move on...

I understand you now.

I never have before, and I'm guilty of judging you I'll admit. But I understand your feelings now.

I understand how you are plagued with a vast montage of memories that never seem to quit playing over and over in your head. They dance in and out of your thoughts in the silence of your solitude. Repeatedly they follow an endless track that jerks your emotions high and low like a rollercoaster.

It's hard because those memories hold so much joy, and it feels like your life currently has gone...well, downhill. And of course to climb uphill again means to make new and better memories, but yet you cling to the old ones in fear of forgetting.

How could you forget, you ask? I mean you just said those memories were so full of joy, so how could one forget about them?

Good question.

I guess you don't forget... you just have to push them aside. You feel like your brain can still hold the big stuff - the really fun, exhilarating, happiest moments are locked away in the long-term. But suddenly the details get brushed into the cracks and crevices of the brain to create space for the new thoughts and memories moving in. A fine layer of dust collects over the details that were once showcased at the front of your mind. They don't fade from existence; you just forget they're there. You can't juggle it all - new things, old things - and you feel helpless as the details slip away into oblivion.

Thus begins a war in the mind between remembering and forgetting.

Stuck In-Between

I've never understood the feeling of being stuck in an in-between stage of life more than I do right now.

I've been home for about two weeks now from Orlando, Florida where I spent the last six months of my life. In those two weeks, I've traveled to and from Oklahoma to visit family, back to Florida for a beach trip, and now I'm settled in Lake Charles for four short days until heading to a Leadership Retreat for school.

The busy-ness has been a blessing though... it keeps me from even more heartache than I already feel. My heart aches to be back in Orlando.

Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to see my family and friends and drive the familiar route from my home to the local Chick-fil-A. But I never imagined the strangeness I would feel from transitioning from the life in Florida to my life in Louisiana. It really does feel like I had a different life the past six months; see, my school and home life intertwine, but in Orlando I started from scratch. Same classic Meg of course, just in a place where I knew next to no one. 

I can't even adequately explain how much my time there has impacted my life. 

I experienced incredible joy, and also incredible loneliness. 

My faith was stretched; I learned to cling to the Lord as my only constant and received undeserved blessings in return. 

So many friendships were formed from around the world, and my heart literally aches to think of all the sweet friends who have enriched my life. I fell in love with the people there, and felt loved in return.

I worked for one of the greatest companies in the world; a company I admire so much for putting absolute excellence into everything they do. The Walt Disney Company inspires people of all ages to believe in the beauty of their dreams, and that's one of my favorite things about them. There is no end to their creativity.

It's so funny... halfway through the summer I was so ready to be back home. But as my time in Florida came to an end, I realized I wasn't ready to leave.

Singing In The Silence

Authenticity is magnetic.

So I want to be real with you right now. I want to share the real, raw feelings I have on my heart. Sometimes they are lovely and full of joy. Sometimes they are messy and broken.

I would have to say I'm very messy right now.

I wrote in my last blog post, here, that I felt like I was walking blindly toward the Lord. I hadn't had a moment with Him in a while; that feeling that I was encountering the presence of God. And I still feel like I'm in that place. Which is hard! It's really hard!

I did pretty poorly on a test I took recently; which began a catharsis of emotions. During our weekly worship service, I had a couple of my friends pray over me; and I had this emotional breakdown. Not just my eyes tearin' up, but full-on nasty crying. And at the time I didn't even know why. Sure, my despicable test grade had me bummed, but in that moment I felt so heavy and burdened. I was weighed down by I don't even know what. My heart unloaded in the only way it knew how: tears.

After journaling it out, I realized where that heaviness came from. I missed being in the Lord's presence. I missed being so near and in tune to Him. I missed being able to feel His closeness and being comforted by that.

Of course I have been in dry places before, where it feels like God isn't with me or speaking to me only. How am I supposed to minister to others and "be a light" if I'm not even experiencing God myself? This place was frustrating for me, because I didn't see the point. What was I supposed to be learning? I wanted the Lord's will over everything. I was spending time with Him, and had just surrendered everything I thought I had. What more could I do?

I asked God to reveal to me what's going on. How much longer would He be silent? Why was He silent?

I don't have all the answers. But after spending time meditating and waiting on the Lord, I think I have the one I need.

For We Trust In Our God - Fall Breakaway 2015

This past weekend I went to a fall retreat called Fall Breakaway by my campus ministry Chi Alpha. We literally "break away" from everything, and escape to a camp in the middle of the woods in north Louisiana. All of the Chi Alpha's in Louisiana meet up to attend sessions by a guest speaker and Chi Alpha staff across the state. We stay in camp dormitories; there are trails to walk and a pond to swim in. And the weather this weekend was absolutely beautiful. The kind that's sunny with a high of 75.

I love this weekend away. I love being surrounded by nature and by fellow believers who love Jesus.

The week before Breakaway was rough... I had a couple of big tests and assignments due that week, so I was beyond ready to escape and rest.

I went to Breakaway last year too, and it was such a sweet time. That weekend Chi Alpha became my family, and I felt connected and loved. I knew what to expect this weekend, and I was expecting great things from God.