Twenty-Four

I'm 24 now.

My birthday was such a good day. I have sky high expectations for my birthday, so we normally ball out on a trip or party or staycation. I love to celebrate birthday's, not just my own. It's the one day of the year that's completely yours without any guilt. If you watch New Girl, I relate very much to Jess in her birthday episode in Season 2. She chooses to spend every birthday alone at the movies to avoid disappointment because her expectations get out of control.

I don't spend my birthday alone at the movies, but I have noticed within the last couple of years a lingering disappointment at the end of the day. And I feel the absolute worst about that because my last few birthday's have been so grand that I don't know why I would feel that way. How do you even admit that out loud?

But I've realized the reason why is that I put so much pressure on this day to be perfect and for people to tell me how loved I am, when the Lord is the only One able to truly speak that into my identity.

Given the circumstances, I knew this day would look different than planned. I spent the day before removing every expectation I had and asking God to be enough for me, because He is. He pursues and loves me every single day like it's my birthday. I want to remember that I am loved by my God and loved by my people however they choose to show it.

It turned out to be such a memorable day. This year was a good opportunity to reset and enjoy a simple celebration with my closest people. It was nice to hear from those were thinking of me and wishing for the best knowing the melancholy that can accompany cancelled or changed plans. Florida actually started their reopening Phase 1 this week, which turned out to be one of the best gifts. The day before I got to finally hug my work friends after not seeing them for over a month, and I never knew how much I would appreciate getting to sit outside at a restaurant or business.

Some highlights of my day:

- Woke up before 8AM (this always happens because I get too excited, but it's okay because I love mornings), and the roommates had decorated the apartment the night before.
- Breakfast with my roommates. Reb makes the best pancakes I've ever had, and I don't understand her ways.
- Put on real clothes for the first time in over a month.
- Reb and I spent the afternoon sitting outside with a drink at Crooked Can, which is a brewery nearby and one of our favorite places.
- Facetime'd with my college friends. I wish they could be here.
- My parents had a fruit bouquet/edible arrangement delivered, and it was honestly the most genuinely surprised I've been in a while. It's one of those things I've wanted my literal entire life, but something you want people to just know about you without telling them. Is that crazy?
- We got Chick-Fil-A for dinner and sat in the rocking chairs around the lake in Celebration. It's important to note we watched a bird try to swallow a fish that was too big for his beak for a solid 20 minutes. The bird was not successful and left the fish to die on the sidewalk, so I'd say it was not a great day for either of them.
- Spent the rest of the night with a couple of friends at our apartment - dancing, eating cookie cake (drinking), and talking about boys like it was a middle school slumber party.

It was such a fun day. I know my people went out of their way to make it special for me, and I'm so thankful. Twenty-four used to sound so old to me, but I feel like I am ripely this age. I am happy and thankful for where I'm at right now (lol unemployed), and I know I'm exactly where I'm meant to be. The best is always yet to come.