Little Thoughts: H O M E

Before Christmas break (it feels weird saying that outside of school, but because my office was closed for the holidays, I really did have a winter break!), I was having dinner with a friend of mine; and we were talking about the enneagram.

The enneagram is honestly one of my favorite things to read and talk about; BUT that's not the purpose of this post, and I can't dive too deep into it now. Send me a message if you want to chat about it. Basically we are both 9's, and 9's love to be home. We only chatted briefly on our love for being home and how refreshing it would feel over the holidays, but this concept hasn't left my mind since. The interesting part for me was the tie between enneagram type and adoration of home. I knew I was an introvert, but I had never thought of my love for home as more than just a personal preference, but as a part of my personality.

I started thinking about what all I mean when I say love "home." What is it that I crave about it and why?

Here are some thoughts I started collecting recently...

A Very Brave Year

My word for this year is brave.

I've been thinking a lot about 2018, and how I feel about it. I think it was one of the most beautiful years of my life, but also really hard. Not hard in a way that made me want to escape and just get through it, but in a way that was refining and full of gratitude. The hard parts have me really thankful.

I'm realizing I did a lot of brave things this year, but bravery is not what I thought it was.

The beginning of this year held the most uncertainty, but also a lot of hope. My last semester of college was upon me. I had no plans, but hope that God would swoop in and bring direction as He is known to do. But even with hope and belief that God would provide for me, I was the most scared I've ever been in my life. I cried a lot... in church, in the car, in the night as I fell asleep... purely out of the crushing weight of fear.

I was struggling with taking the necessary steps to prepare for the future while also trusting that God would provide while also pressing in close to the relationships around me. Even though I would be graduating soon, I didn't want to pull away from the people I loved so much in order to spare myself of heartbreak. Goodbyes and change are painful, and it would've been easier to back away slowly and put up walls to prepare for inevitable parting.

But here is where I found bravery.

Lately

Hello my friends.

It has been a while since my last post, but here I am sitting in the Orlando airport with a delayed flight and an ache to be back in this familiar space. I'll be honest, I don't have much to say today but we'll see where we end up.

I've been pretty busy with miscellaneous trips and working, but I think what I really needed was a break. It's easy for me to get wrapped up in people-pleasing and "entertaining." I forget why I'm writing and who I'm writing to, and sometimes I just need to step away and breathe. Instead of writing for the one, it becomes writing what I think people want to read from me. Which is not always a bad thing in and of itself, but it is when that voice is louder or more important than the Lord's. I've spent the last few weeks trying to get alone with God and really dig in to what He has for me.

A Day In The Life

Hi friends!

What I'm picking up on is that y'all love the posts about Disney, and I've gotten a lot of questions about what it's like to be a professional intern... so here's a post sharing what my experience has been like so far!

Trust Is Slow And Steady

Okay my friends.

So I made a post on Instagram recently with just a little blurb I felt like God spoke into my life that week. The main thing that had been running through my mind was that God knows my future, and He's not afraid. 

And as soon as I posted it, I felt so instantly that God was like, yo... let's unpack that a little more my friend. Not so urgently that I needed to delete the post, but on the soon-ish side. Usually I make notes in my phone when I get words from God swirling around in my head that I need to write down before I forget; but this time I was driving, so I literally made a voice recording to cringe to while I wrote this post.

But anyways, this phrase, "God knows my future, and He's not afraid" was spoken into my heart during church one Sunday. It's not that I was feeling particularly anxious at the time, but I knew I had been given these words for a reason.

So after I shared a short paragraph on Instagram surrounding this phrase, I knew there was more I needed to talk about here. Like why did that simple phrase make me feel so peaceful and secure? Like of course a perfect, all-knowing God is unafraid of the future... great, how is that supposed to matter to me? Usually just because someone else isn't worried about what might happen to me doesn't make me any less afraid. How and why does this phrase make a difference in my life?

The Most Distracting Place On Earth

Something I have noticed over the last few years is that I have an unfortunate habit of getting really distracted anytime I move to Disney.

Some would say could you blame me and some would say I should be used to it by now; but I'm pretty sure that even if I didn't spend every minute of every day of every week on Disney property, life would still find a way to be a distraction from the things that truly matter.

We always think of consumers as those investing in some sort of material substance, but I would say I'm a consumer of experiences. A collector of moments if you will. I like stuff, but I like moments even better. The ones where I can close my eyes and think about what a sweet and beautiful life this is. For me that looks like the perfect sunset over Magic Kingdom or screaming Disney Mania songs before Fantasmic or my eyeballs filling with tears as the audience gasps in audible awe and wonder of the fireworks show. Obviously, I am easily amazed and dazzled by beautiful things. I'm so guilty of thinking, wow this is what makes life worth living. These moments are collected in my heart every chance I get. There's serious "fear of missing out," and I get caught in the mindset that I have to do it all. And I think that's where I get addicted.

These moments are really beautiful, magical things, but sometimes I find myself chasing them down more than I chase Jesus.

Writing Love Letters

Hi friends.

So you're probably going to hate me for this... honestly, I hate me for this, but I'm centering this post around a reference made in the movie To All The Boys I've Loved Before. I'd just like to point out 1) not to be that annoying person, but I read the books first like five years ago and 2) I love this movie not only for its cinematic quality, but also for the way it made me think and feel.

At the beginning of the film, Lara Jean explains that she writes love letters to all the boys she's ever loved saying, "I write a letter when I have a crush so intense that I don't know what else to do. Rereading the letters reminds me how powerful my emotions can be, how all-consuming."

Y'all as soon as I heard that line, I thought mmm, that is a word... because I do the same thing.

But not love letters to boys. I actually write my letters to God and keep them not in a hatbox, but in a journal that sits on the nightstand by my bed.

There are ten journals in all, going on eleven. They are all shapes and sizes, lined and unlined, different and unique like each passing year. I started journaling in 2011 during my sophomore year of high school and have stayed fairly consistent since then. Growing up, every girl tries to keep a diary of events and inevitably fails because writing about what you had for breakfast is tbh boring. But when I started journaling, it became a way to keep track of my prayers and grew into my favorite way to connect with God. It has become essential in processing and controlling my emotions; and I relate to Lara Jean because I also understand and believe in the power of emotions.

Finding Magic In The Ordinary

Hey friends.

Recently one of my readers asked to read about coming off a "high" of happy things and going back to a regular, more simple routine, and wow I thought that was so relatable. I feel like I'm constantly walking in and out of that season of life. This is especially relevant for anyone who has had a summer full of freedom and adventure, but the return to school and normalcy is right around the corner. So here it goes, all my thoughts and experiences on the ordinary.

I like to compare the feeling to taking the best vacation ever, but dreading the long, boring drive back home. I remember in high school all my friends would go off to church camp for a week in the summer and come back on a high for a little while, but then simmer back down to longing to be away at camp. There's that feeling of wishing a moment could last forever. Life on the beach or in another country just seems so much better than regular life at school or work. 

So imagine being on your favorite vacation for six months straight, and what it would feel like to come back afterwards. That's what my story looks like. My favorite place is Disney World (big surprise), and there is a real life magic that lives there. When I came back from living there on my first Disney College Program, I came down hard. Everything seemed a shade duller than my life in Orlando, and I felt like I had taken two steps backwards. It wasn't even about leaving the physical place, but rather leaving behind a season of adventure. I discovered a wild piece of myself there, and going back home made me feel like I was going back to a less exciting, normal version of myself. I was absolutely miserable because I missed a magic that was always right in front of me, so ingrained into my everyday life. Resentment toward my current circumstances rose inside me, and I unintentionally compared everything to a "better" season of life. 

Three Things You Won't Learn Until You Blog

Hey friends!

I can't believe it's already August. For sixteen years, this month has held new beginnings; but now that I've graduated college, it's simply August. But this month will always be special to me because it marks the anniversary of this blog! I started writing in 2015 at the beginning of my sophomore year of college, and since then I've learned and grown so much. My first post ever was the smash hit "Three Things You Won't Learn At Freshman Orientation," so today I'm sharing three things I've learned along the blogging journey since then. 

God Loves Disney World

I feel closer to God when I go to Disney World.

Hey there, friends. You're probably thinking 1) will this girl ever stop talking about Disney... the answer is sadly no. And 2) that feels like a pretty packed statement.

So let's talk about it.

The other day I went to Animal Kingdom after work just to do some of my favorite things and because I hadn't been to the park since moving. Not that I don't love DAK, but it's just hot and a lot of walking, etc. So I'm walking through the park, watching Cast Members wave to guests and play with bubble wands and sell Mickey bars. I watch characters hug some sweet kiddos and live music performers dance and interact with a crowd. I go see Festival of the Lion King and get weepy (every time); and I go on the safari and think about how I could never drive a truck like these CM's do.

It makes me think of one of my favorite quotes by Walt:

You can dream, create, design, and build the most wonderful place in the world... But it requires people to make the dream a reality.

That quote hangs on the wall in the Casting building where I work. I love it because it's so true! And I love it because Walt saw the value in people.

Career + Heaven Minded

Hi friends!

I realize it's been a while since I've updated the blog, so here's what's been going on lately...

First of all, thank you to everyone who sent me a message after my last post. I felt so loved and taken care of. It was a sweet reminder that I am never alone, even if it can feel like that some days.

Life is finally starting to settle down for me. My lease in BR got taken (PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW); I have a place to live, and I love my job. The professional internships at Disney are so much different than the college program... which I guess I knew, but didn't fully understand until now. PI's really concentrate on teaching you new things. I'm learning so much, and getting to practice exactly what I learned in school makes me wish I would've paid more attention! Just kidding, but not really. If anyone has more questions on a day in the life or my application process, please don't hesitate to reach out! I will never tire of talking about my experiences with the Mouse. 

I'm really feeling like a grown-up these days because I honestly go to bed by 9:30pm every night to wake up at 6am to go to work! I love the routine, but there are still days that are hard; like when I come home to no one or spend an entire day with my only words having been my order in the Chick-Fil-A drive thru. I feel so far from my family, and I cry on group FaceTime dates with my old roommates because I miss them and the way things used to be.

But even so, I know there's so much God wants to teach me here.

Moving Is Hard

Hey friends.

So I've been in Orlando for about a week now, but it feels like I've been here twenty years already. Part of that's because this place is another extension of home to me. I have a handful of people that I know and love, and I've built a lot of memories here. I've become a lot of myself during the time I've spent living here, so it just feels natural to be back. I love that.

But my time here feels long also because it's been hard. I knew moving would be hard, but just the logistics and emotional stress of it all feels like too much sometimes. 

It Matters That You're Here

Hey friends!

If you follow me on Instagram, you've probably seen that I've gotten to be a part of my very first book launch team for Come Matter Here by Hannah Brencher. This has been an honor and so exciting for me! I'm writing here today to not only encourage you to invest in this girl and her words, but also to share a part of my story and what this book means to me.

What Could Have Been

Geaux Garcia Photography

The other day I was driving back to Baton Rouge from Lake Charles, and thinking about what my number one piece of advice is to anyone... and it's that your life will never turn out like you think it will, and that it's okay. 

You can have big, beautiful, good dreams and plans for your life... sometimes they come to fruition and sometimes they don't. Something I have learned is that even if those good things don't come to pass, it doesn't mean the alternative is "bad." Your life may look different than you imagined; but it is okay because it will still be good, and God is still in the midst of it.

But I know that it doesn't always feel okay when your life goes through unexpected change. 

Lately I have been wrestling with a lot of mixed emotions upon graduating and a whirlwind of change. As I was praying and thinking about these things, I felt in my spirit words that I think bring relief to the need to have it all together.

And those words are that it's okay to mourn the what-could-have-been's. 

Little Thoughts, Vol. 2

Hey friends!

I feel like I've been posting quite a bit lately, but mostly about photoshoots. Which I love sharing my creative work with you, and I appreciate all the encouragement and feedback; but I also just wanted to share some updates on what's going through my head.

Eleven Minutes In Nashville

Hey friends! 

I promised you a Nashville post, and here it is (warning, it's v long)! This was actually my second time visiting (see my first visit here); but this time I went with my current roommates for spring break, and we got to stay a little longer.

I love traveling with my roommates because we're always on the same page on what to do... we love to eat. We love to shop. And we love to take pictures. Honestly, this is how we afford to take trips so often... we just spend money on food and don't do any of the tourist-y things that cost money hehe. 

Trips like these make me realize how blessed I am to have the friendships that I do. These girls make me laugh til my stomach cramps and roast me like no one else can; but at the end of the day, they are always there to speak life and support revolving around our shared love of God. There is no one more generous, more empathetic, more loyal and protective than my friends, and I am really thankful for them. 

Spring Seniors, Vol. 2: Lindsey

Hello my friends! 

I'm back with another senior session of my new friend Lindsey! It was raining and overcast the day of, but thankfully it cleared up enough to get some pretty shots. 

Shout out to everyone who has liked, shared, and supported my posts! Social media has become an essential business tool, and every "share" counts! Because this is just a super minuscule side job for me, I rely solely on my own obnoxious self-promotion and the recommendations of others. So THANK YOU! Thank you for being a supporter of me, my work, and creative arts as a whole. 

This weekend I'll be traveling to Nashville with my roomies for spring break, and I'm looking forward to some time away with my favorite girls. I'm sure we'll take some quality pics, so be on the lookout for a travel post soon! 

Spring Seniors, Vol. 1: Abigail

Hey friends!

We are halfway through spring semester already, which means graduation is literally right around the corner!!! I can't believe I only have a couple of months left at this beautiful school.

In the mean time, I'm busy busy taking senior pictures, and I am loving it. Campus is at its prime in the spring with the stately oaks and broad magnolias just begging to be in front of a lens. Since I don't have many opportunities to sit down and write a normal blog post, I thought I'd keep ya'll updated with a few of the gorgeous seniors I get to take pictures for! 

Here are some of my favorites of the lovely Abigail Wright, whom I met through mutual friends. She was so fun to work with and even brought champagne for us to get some fun shots in front of the stadium. Congrats girly! 

**Shameless plug, I still have a few spots open during spring break/April for anyone looking for a last minute, amateur photographer! Just hit the Contact tab to get more info!

Whole Heart: A Love Without Walls

Your love

It comes with no conditions

You give us Your whole heart

My hope

Is in the blood of Jesus

I know who I am

Because of who You are

- Whole Heart by Passion 

Ya'll, I cannot stop playing this song... It's the opening track to Passion's new album titled Whole Heart, and I'm obsessed. 

Just a quick overview of Passion: it's a conference for young adults, ages 18-24, hosted in Atlanta featuring all the big-name Christian speakers and worship leaders. It's a movement really, of young adults passionate about making Jesus the center of everything. Unfortunately I haven't been able to go the last few years; but I attended my senior year of high school and freshman year of college, and to this day I remember how the teaching and worship experience changed my life. 

Each year the Passion worship band releases an album of the songs played at the conference, and the first few lines of the first track (Whole Heart) have been constantly running through my head lately.

Your love

It comes with no conditions

You give us Your whole heart

Once again, I am reminded of how the love of God is so unlike human love. 

Little Thoughts, Vol. 1

Hey friends.

So I've been wanting to write for a while, but have been struggling with what to write on. If I had the chance, I would sit across from each one of you with a cup of coffee or lunch at Chick-fil-A and just want to hear about your life.

So let's just pretend like that's what we're doing here and catch up on some little thoughts that have been running through my head lately.