Trust Is Slow And Steady

Okay my friends.

So I made a post on Instagram recently with just a little blurb I felt like God spoke into my life that week. The main thing that had been running through my mind was that God knows my future, and He's not afraid. 

And as soon as I posted it, I felt so instantly that God was like, yo... let's unpack that a little more my friend. Not so urgently that I needed to delete the post, but on the soon-ish side. Usually I make notes in my phone when I get words from God swirling around in my head that I need to write down before I forget; but this time I was driving, so I literally made a voice recording to cringe to while I wrote this post.

But anyways, this phrase, "God knows my future, and He's not afraid" was spoken into my heart during church one Sunday. It's not that I was feeling particularly anxious at the time, but I knew I had been given these words for a reason.

So after I shared a short paragraph on Instagram surrounding this phrase, I knew there was more I needed to talk about here. Like why did that simple phrase make me feel so peaceful and secure? Like of course a perfect, all-knowing God is unafraid of the future... great, how is that supposed to matter to me? Usually just because someone else isn't worried about what might happen to me doesn't make me any less afraid. How and why does this phrase make a difference in my life?

The reasoning lies in who God is. I know that He knows what's coming for me. I know that He is a good, loving Father who has my best interest in mind. And because I trust His judgment and His thoughts and feelings, I can rest in His emotions toward the future which is fearlessness. 

And honestly, I think all of this boils down to a much deeper question of why do I trust God?

Hmm. Wow. As I was driving and wrestling with this question, I was thinking man, why do I trust God? Or at least why do I attempt to? (It's not always a natural thing, trust me)

My first instinct is to say because of what He has done for me in the past and how He has proven to be all that He says He is. All that I have needed, He has provided. I have these moments and memories that are the sweetest reminders of how He has shown up for me. 

But I will say, the trust between me and God has taken time. So much time.  

The more I get to know God, the more I see how trustworthy He is. 

And here is where I can see the disconnect when people are told just to trust God in everything, but then struggle with actually doing it. Something I think we forget is that trusting God takes time. How can we expect to trust Someone we don't even know?

I think about how building trust with people works, and I think it works the same way with God. When you go on dates with someone or are looking for a deep solid friendship, trust is grown by spending time with the other person. You look for consistency and for that person to show up when they say they will or be the person they claim to be. I'm not going to tell someone my whole life story the first time I meet them... but maybe I let them in piece by piece when I see my story will be safe with them. Building trust is a process.

Now don't get me wrong, there is an element of faith within trusting God. Sometimes it's diving in head first without knowing what's to come. Faith is the backbone of being a follower of Jesus, and at some point there must be a belief in the unseen. 

What I am saying is that I get the frustration surrounding the command to "just trust God." And I would say that's okay. The journey of trusting God is a lifelong one into eternity. He is constantly pursuing us, but sometimes I think it is sweet and slow. You don't have to worry about rushing it or getting it done on a timeline. There is beauty in the slowness and steadiness of learning to trust Him. But if you want it bad enough... if you want to press in and do the work, trust is something that can be built. It is not out of reach for you.

And if you're up to the task, I know that God is too. He's not afraid of a challenge. You can approach Him with boldness. Spend time with Him. Ask Him for big things. Ask Him for small things. The more practice you get, the easier it is for trust to become like a reflex reaction when you need it. And it's a partnership... as we grow, I think He entrusts us with even bigger and crazier things to walk through. Sometimes trust looks like letting go and surrender, but I think it can also look like holding on tight and pushing through and not knowing what's ahead but Jesus. Only Jesus.

Of course there will times when trust is a fight. That's only a part of being human. There are things I've felt like I conquered and gave to God completely, but then I actually have to backtrack and get on my knees before the cross to lay it down again. I used to really beat myself up for it and think that I was seriously failing. That after so many years of walking with God, this trust thing should be easy. But you know, I'm learning that it's okay if it's hard. It brings me back to humility. It is a bending of my will to become lower, lower, lower so that the need for something - Someone - greater than myself is evident. 

The one thing I think we as humans wrestle with the most is fear of the unknown. It's inevitable. It's one of those things I'm always running back to God with. But I have been learning the sweetest thing... the One I trust the most in the world has no fear of the future. If I had anything to fear, I know He would fill me in. But He hasn't yet, so here we are pressing on.