Career + Heaven Minded

Hi friends!

I realize it's been a while since I've updated the blog, so here's what's been going on lately...

First of all, thank you to everyone who sent me a message after my last post. I felt so loved and taken care of. It was a sweet reminder that I am never alone, even if it can feel like that some days.

Life is finally starting to settle down for me. My lease in BR got taken (PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW); I have a place to live, and I love my job. The professional internships at Disney are so much different than the college program... which I guess I knew, but didn't fully understand until now. PI's really concentrate on teaching you new things. I'm learning so much, and getting to practice exactly what I learned in school makes me wish I would've paid more attention! Just kidding, but not really. If anyone has more questions on a day in the life or my application process, please don't hesitate to reach out! I will never tire of talking about my experiences with the Mouse. 

I'm really feeling like a grown-up these days because I honestly go to bed by 9:30pm every night to wake up at 6am to go to work! I love the routine, but there are still days that are hard; like when I come home to no one or spend an entire day with my only words having been my order in the Chick-Fil-A drive thru. I feel so far from my family, and I cry on group FaceTime dates with my old roommates because I miss them and the way things used to be.

But even so, I know there's so much God wants to teach me here.

I used to hate the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" because a) I didn't know and b) I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and generally that response isn't met with much enthusiasm. My mom was fortunate enough to be able to stay home with my brother and I for most of our growing up years. She was the best role model to me, and I knew I wanted my own children to grow up exactly like I did. I never developed heavy career aspirations to be a lawyer or CEO or doctor; instead my biggest dream was for a family.

I held tight to that dream throughout college... probably a little too tightly. And I think when I finally grasped that a family was a dream for the future, I realized I lacked dreams for myself in the present.

Something sweet that I feel the Lord is teaching me through this job with Disney is that my life holds so much more opportunity than I could imagine. But I have to be willing to go through it with eyes open and palms up. If I had gotten everything I wanted the way that I wanted it when I wanted it, I wouldn't have near the experiences I have now. I wouldn't have this job. I wouldn't have discovered more about myself and what I like to do. I wouldn't have met the people I have or been forced to live bravely. I wouldn't know God with a heightened dependence and intimacy like I do now. 

It's like God is teaching me how to focus and work with what is right in front of me. And right now, it's the realm of professionalism. I've never had to grow and dream "professionally," and so it's this new feeling of "Am I doing this right?"

This concept created this kind of weird internal conflict in me. I think there's a fear/stigma that gets instilled in us, especially within Christian circles, that a successful career can take away from the things that matter most in life. We hear it in sermons about the CEO that turned down the job to be a missionary in Africa, but it's even infiltrated itself into pop culture. You know, the books or movies about the guy who works too much, neglects his family, and loses everything. He, of course, gets to turn back time for a second chance. Us peasants in reality won't be so lucky, so we better make sure to get it right.

I don't necessarily disagree, but I feared the issue so much so that I avoided the area of fame and fortune to swerve too far into obsession with relationships and family. But here's the thing... the root issue of this fear is selfishness, not success or career. The emphasis should be that any type of selfishness, whether that's in the form of a successful career/money/power or not, will take away from loving the people in your life well. Anything placed before or above the Lord will always become an issue. 

Maybe I'm the only one who has felt this way, but I think I subconsciously suppressed ambition in the name of humility. The challenge I feel like I'm facing now is how to live a life of both. Movies, books, even the church lack teaching on how to have both. You can have a life that honors the Lord and a life that is successful that you love and worked hard for. We need both. 

Why do we need both? My two best reasons are that 1) people who will never step foot inside a church need to be loved and encounter Jesus. People are God's favorite method of ministry and what an opportunity to do the thing and show someone side by side, hand in hand how to live this life with Jesus. And 2) God operates in excellence. I would say He's pretty good at what He does. When we are hard workers with a standard of excellence, we reflect such a key characteristic of God. I think He's proud of us when we are good at what we do, because we're using the gifts He's created us with. 

Sometimes a successful career is exactly where God wants us to be.

I say that because I don't want us to live a life of fear. I don't want anyone to avoid opportunity out of fear that the Lord won't be there. He is without limits; and wherever He calls us, He has already gone before and made a way. I still struggle with questions on whether I'm in the right place or doing the right thing. But as I'm learning more within my field of work, I'm also learning more on how to love God better and in new ways. And I think that's all the really matters.

We don't have to strive to be the best out of all, but rather the best we can be with what the Lord has given us. For me, that looks like embracing the present circumstances with arms wide open instead of always chasing after a future just out of arms' reach. It looks like learning how to dream new dreams that are mine to own up to. It looks like working on being the best freaking HR intern I can be, because I know I am equipped and called to be right where I am.

So I know this post was a lot of miscellaneous thoughts pretty specific to my stage of life and probably not as put-together or flow-y as usual (I'm still figuring out what God's been teaching me lately and trying to get this written before my 9:30 bedtime each night!)... but even if none of the above applies to you, I hope that you'll never stop expecting God to teach you something new no matter how old or new or seasoned your relationship with God is.

Much love, my friends.