Little Thoughts: H O M E

Before Christmas break (it feels weird saying that outside of school, but because my office was closed for the holidays, I really did have a winter break!), I was having dinner with a friend of mine; and we were talking about the enneagram.

The enneagram is honestly one of my favorite things to read and talk about; BUT that's not the purpose of this post, and I can't dive too deep into it now. Send me a message if you want to chat about it. Basically we are both 9's, and 9's love to be home. We only chatted briefly on our love for being home and how refreshing it would feel over the holidays, but this concept hasn't left my mind since. The interesting part for me was the tie between enneagram type and adoration of home. I knew I was an introvert, but I had never thought of my love for home as more than just a personal preference, but as a part of my personality.

I started thinking about what all I mean when I say love "home." What is it that I crave about it and why?

Here are some thoughts I started collecting recently...

On a literal, physical level, I enjoy just staying in. A Friday night spent in my little apartment in Orlando sounds perfectly fine to me. Even if I have the option to get out, I would probably rather stay at home to do something. Writing this brings back a memory I have of high school, and my friends literally driving to my house convinced that if they showed up, I would go hang out with them. They ended up waiting outside for nothing because I still chose to stay in instead! I like to be home, okay?!?

Besides the literal concept of home, I find myself craving the feeling of home. Honestly what does that even mean... it's hard to describe, but if you know you know. Have you ever traveled to a place you've never been before, but something about it still feels like home? Recently I had that feeling over the Christmas break driving around Houston for my friend Tiffany's wedding. I had never visited the little suburb she lives in, yet even just running to get Starbucks I mentioned how it felt like I already knew this place.

Something interesting to me is the idea that home is where your people are instead of specific places. I think for me, there are people that feel like home; but I wouldn't say that my home is where certain people are. Again, these are my own thoughts on it, but I've found that home is fluid. It is wherever you make it, and putting home in people limits you if you're away from them.

I was listening to Annie F. Downs' That Sounds Fun podcast interview with someone in ministry who traveled/moved frequently; and every time she would step off the plane somewhere new, she would take her husband's hand, hold her head high, and say "Welcome home." I loved this, because I think sometimes we are hesitant to invest or put down roots if we're just walking through. Home creates an atmosphere or attitude of permanency.

Anytime I move somewhere new, I'm constantly on the search for pieces that make me feel like home. Cozy coffee shops. A public park. The easiest route to the grocery store. So what is it that make these things special? Is it just the reference to familiarity? Maybe it's the peace and comfort and and feeling of being known that all these things bring. I think of all the places I've collected that hold parts of home... Lake Charles. Baton Rouge. Austin. Orlando. Each of these places hold memories and people and things that bring me back to what once was familiar.

On a more figurative/spiritual level, occasionally I get this restlessness in my spirit that craves being home. It's not really a desire to travel to where I grew up or be in my apartment, but just a general restlessness and need to feel settled, I think. This feeling used to worry me, and I'd question my whole life on whether I'm in the right place or where I should be or where I should go.

But then I heard something on another podcast, and I really wish I could remember which one... but it's the idea that we might always feel this sense of discontentment or incompletion because we are not at home on this earth. As cheesy as it sounds, Carrie Underwood said it best when she said "this is our temporary home." As long as we live on this fallen earth, we will always crave something more as beings created with eternity embedded in our hearts. Our earth is definitely not eternal, therefore we experience a brokenness in the system. This brings a validation or sort of rightness to the sometimes gentle, sometimes alarming desire for home.

The most beautiful thing I've found in all of this is where Jesus fits in. Or rather, how this all revolves around Jesus. He came to earth and saved us for the sake of our eternity. He is the One who mends brokenness and makes all things whole. As we get closer to Him, we get closer to heaven touching earth... bringing our eternal home down to the temporary. Ya feel me? As someone who worries too much about feelings and where/what I'm supposed to be doing, it is such a comfort and peace to know that I don't have to worry about these things if home is wherever I'm with Him. He IS home because if you are a believer, He is our eternity. He is end-game.

He is the reason I believe home is fluid. I carry home wherever I go as long as He goes with me.

I don't know if that was a life-changing realization for anyone but me; but yeesh, it took me way longer than it should have to dissect and analyze this concept.

And this dialogue on home is something still on-going in my mind, so I am genuinely interested in y'all's thoughts. Do you have a definition of home? What makes up home for you? Is it based around people or places? Most importantly, why? The why behind everything is always what I'm most interested in and something I'm still figuring out myself.

A thousand apologies if that was super drawn out and ramble-y, but these are the things I think about and love to talk about with others. Please be sure to engage with me if you have thoughts of your own on this subject or anything else really... and as always, thanks for reading friends.