Eyes Up

I feel like people are always wanting to hear from God, whether they admit it or not. We want signs. We want proof and direction. We want the stars to align and something greater than ourselves to step in when we don't know what to do. I think we actually expect it.

My question then is are we really looking for God? Are we expecting Him to show up more than just at the big life moments, but also in the day to day?

Looking for God is something that I think starts with training. It must be ingrained in us to keep our eyes open with expectation.

Staying

Alrighty folks, it's about to get long and personal here.

It's been hard to put into words all that God has been doing in my life. I get so overwhelmed with where to begin, and this post will only scratch the surface. Buuuut, I've promised to be as vulnerable and authentic as possible, so here I am still without all the answers but sharing anyways. I think we need more of that. More transparency. More of the process... let's get into the nitty-gritty meaty portion of our lives where we're still figuring things out and not just the end results tied up in a nice, neat package.

Lately God has been releasing me from the need to have control. To know what comes next. It's always been comforting to me to have plans and lists. I just like to know. But as you enter into the post-grad world, there is a vast land of both endless opportunity and a whole lot of nothing. You can do anything, but at the same time feel helplessly frozen into nothing.

What happens when you're out of logical "next steps?"

No grad school. No boyfriend. A lot of dreams, but slow-moving ambition.

Just tryin' to be real here.

So throughout my internship here at Disney, I've constantly deliberated between do I stay, or do I go? What am I doing with my life? What do I want to do with my life?

Timelines

Hi friends.

It's been a while. I've been doing the usual busy-ness, but also hard at work dreaming up some fun plans for the future. Spoiler alert: it's an Etsy shop. That's right, I'm going to go ahead and put it out there so that I actually have to do it. And I know it seems like something I should've done a long time ago, but I haven't been ready in every way. Now it just seems like the timing is right... but more on that later. 

Which is why I have and will probably continue to take a step back from writing. Honestly, I haven't seen a lot of growth with this beloved little space of mine. Does anyone even read blogs anymore? It's not that I write for the numbers or fame and fortune, but it's hard to watch something you've worked hard on and feel called to write seem to have less impact than expected. I love writing for the sake of words, but everyone wants what they're creating and putting out into the world to matter. Just keepin' it real here folks. This is the reality of so many bloggers and creatives. 

But anyways, it seems I am consistently learning the value of timing.

The Purpose Is For People

Photography by Kayla Justice

If you've ever gone through something hard at one point of your life (which is everyone reading this), the last thing you want to hear is that it happens for a reason. That you will be grateful for hard times, eventually. That what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

At least for me, those quick-fix attempts at comfort never seemed to work. Like I'm glad that future me will be just peachy, but it doesn't take away the awfulness I feel right now !!!

Unfortunately I'm not here to write a guide on comforting phrases that do work in times of trouble, but rather the opposite. As someone who lives on this earth and participates in the struggle of life, but has walked far enough away to experience the gratitude that is promised, I want to say that it's worth it.