The Purpose Is For People

Photography by Kayla Justice

If you've ever gone through something hard at one point of your life (which is everyone reading this), the last thing you want to hear is that it happens for a reason. That you will be grateful for hard times, eventually. That what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

At least for me, those quick-fix attempts at comfort never seemed to work. Like I'm glad that future me will be just peachy, but it doesn't take away the awfulness I feel right now !!!

Unfortunately I'm not here to write a guide on comforting phrases that do work in times of trouble, but rather the opposite. As someone who lives on this earth and participates in the struggle of life, but has walked far enough away to experience the gratitude that is promised, I want to say that it's worth it.

I can honestly say I am thankful the darkest, hardest parts of my story. Depression. Heartbreak. Loneliness.

I'm thankful because I've caught a glimpse of the purpose of it all that is sometimes only revealed from the other side.

The purpose is for people. 

We as humans crave connection. We are attracted to people that share things in common with us. My closest friendships are with those who have a mutual understanding or empathy toward life experiences. There is an inexplicable bond between those who have experienced the same type of pain.

While there is probably more purpose than we realize, one of the greatest reasons we go through the things we do is to be able to look into the eyes of someone else and say, "I know exactly what you're going through, and I understand how you feel." That phrase has brought me more peace than any other. We feel heard and known by the people who share in our struggles and have walked through the same trenches we have. 

It is a sigh of relief to have someone who shares the burden of our emotions.

I think that's one of a million reasons that I have found such friendship in Jesus. He is the only one who knows the exact pain we feel. He understands because He experienced it all on the cross. But He doesn't roll His eyes or invalidate our feelings even though He experienced far worse than we can imagine... no, I think He looks at us with kindness in His eyes and an empathy in His heart that breaks and hurts with us. 

The thing I crave the most in relationships is understanding, and Jesus is the only One who is able to fully provide.

All that being said, I don't expect the knowledge of future gratitude or ability to be empathetic will lessen the pain of current circumstances. That's not my point at all, because I am a hardcore believer in letting pain matter and be felt thoroughly. But for those on the other side of pain, I hope you can look back with quiet acknowledgement that what you went through was hard, but worth it. We are not rationalizing what happened or saying it was okay, but restructuring our minds to believe that it had purpose.

And because we serve a good God, we can rest in the knowledge that while our circumstances may not be good, they will ultimately be used for good. 

How brave and beautiful you are to use the hard things you've been through for good. I think it's strong and selfless to share the vulnerable, broken parts of yourself in order to give the gift of hope to someone else still in the thick of things. You can't go back and change the things that have happened to you, but you can decide how to re-purpose it moving forward. And your best investment is going to be in people. 

Do I want to re-live the insecurity that left me weak and depressed? Do I want bathe in the overwhelming loneliness I've felt in being single? Not exactly. But I will be thankful for the relationships these things have brought me with girls that needed someone to listen and hold them close when there were no words to ease the pain. For all the girls I've sat across the table from and reminded that they're not crazy or alone. For all the girls that needed a silent nod of recognition that what she felt was hard and a reassurance that God was with her through it all. 

That's what makes it worth it. That's what makes it for good.