Lately

Hello.

It's me. 

And it has been over a month since I've posted. I'd like to say I've been busy, which I have... but not busy enough so that I couldn't have written. It's hard to find motivation and inspiration. But anyways, here's an update on my oh-so-interesting life.

Christmas Day, 2015

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. We spent Christmas in Oklahoma where the whole family lives. I'd have to say the ride back from OK to LA was the absolute worst car ride of my life. The weather in Texas was awful with flood and tornado warnings going off every five minutes... but yet we pressed on. Because of all the rain, the roads were flooded which resulted in many detours. All in all, we spent exactly twelve hours in the car. By that time, I was ready for a tornado to sweep me up and pray it carry me home.

Eventually we made it back, but just 48 hours later, I was packed up and headed to Dallas for Chi Alpha's South Central SALT Conference. SALT is a two day conference for all Chi Alpha's in the South Central area, totaling around 1,800 students. And wow... it was incredible. Not to ride the I-just-came-out-of-an-amazing-Jesus-conference high, but I learned so much those couple of days.

Lifegroup Affirmations 2k15

Last night was our last lifegroup meeting of the semester. On the last night, we always do Affirmations, which is just a time of lifting up, encouraging, and loving on our fellow sisters. Each lifegroup does it differently, but we this time we decided to take over a conference room with a white board in the union. We traced the silhouette of each person, and they stepped out of the room while we wrote or illustrated why we love them around the silhouette. Then they came back in blindfolded, and we took a picture of them in front of the white board surrounded by their affirmations.

It's always a really sweet time together because we get to focus on all the qualities that make each of us so beautiful. This one was especially good, just because it was the last lifegroup with these girls before I go to Disney in the Spring. I can't wait to spend my days in Disney, but I'm sure gonna miss these times with my sisters.

So here are the pictures from last night. They are filled with much love and inside jokes, quotes each of us say a lot, some of our favorite songs and people.

P. S. The lighting made us all look like serial killers, but it's okay.

The DCP And Me

Hey everyone! I know it's been a while, but if you haven't already heard...

I'VE BEEN ACCEPTED TO THE DISNEY COLLEGE PROGRAM SPRING 2016!

What is the Disney College Program? It's considered a paid internship with Walt Disney World (or Disneyland) where I accept a specific "role" and work for Disney for a semester.

I can choose to take one or two of the courses Disney offers, which include courses like Disney Human Resource Management, Disney Marketing, Disney Heritage, etc. It's different for every school, but for LSU, most of those courses will count as an Elective in my schoolwork. There is one course specifically (Disney Corporate Analysis) that will count toward my Business Management degree so lucky me! I know there are seminar courses and collegiate courses; the difference is that seminar is on site learning, and collegiate is like a normal college course, but with the opportunity to apply what you're learning to the workplace. There are some DCP students that choose to take online courses from their home university, but I won't be. Who wants to be doing schoolwork while at Disney World!? The only way I'm able to do the program without taking any online courses is that I'm far enough ahead in my school work towards my degree to basically take off a semester.

Singing In The Silence

Authenticity is magnetic.

So I want to be real with you right now. I want to share the real, raw feelings I have on my heart. Sometimes they are lovely and full of joy. Sometimes they are messy and broken.

I would have to say I'm very messy right now.

I wrote in my last blog post, here, that I felt like I was walking blindly toward the Lord. I hadn't had a moment with Him in a while; that feeling that I was encountering the presence of God. And I still feel like I'm in that place. Which is hard! It's really hard!

I did pretty poorly on a test I took recently; which began a catharsis of emotions. During our weekly worship service, I had a couple of my friends pray over me; and I had this emotional breakdown. Not just my eyes tearin' up, but full-on nasty crying. And at the time I didn't even know why. Sure, my despicable test grade had me bummed, but in that moment I felt so heavy and burdened. I was weighed down by I don't even know what. My heart unloaded in the only way it knew how: tears.

After journaling it out, I realized where that heaviness came from. I missed being in the Lord's presence. I missed being so near and in tune to Him. I missed being able to feel His closeness and being comforted by that.

Of course I have been in dry places before, where it feels like God isn't with me or speaking to me only. How am I supposed to minister to others and "be a light" if I'm not even experiencing God myself? This place was frustrating for me, because I didn't see the point. What was I supposed to be learning? I wanted the Lord's will over everything. I was spending time with Him, and had just surrendered everything I thought I had. What more could I do?

I asked God to reveal to me what's going on. How much longer would He be silent? Why was He silent?

I don't have all the answers. But after spending time meditating and waiting on the Lord, I think I have the one I need.