Dear God, You're Invited

I am a person who has to do things herself.

I will not ask for help. I don't like asking for help.

I can prove that I am strong enough, smart enough, capable enough... just enough to do things on my own.

I hate googling actors that I recognize in movies but can't place, because I know I can command my mind to remember this trivial piece of information.

I hate going to SI sessions for school work, even if I'm struggling in the class.

I won't even take medicine when I'm feeling sick because I somehow figure I can get over it myself. I'm ridiculous, I know.

These little examples of my obsession with self-sustenance are funny and make you shake your head and distantly question my sanity. But what I've been noticing is the way these little things translate into bigger things that affect my relationship with Christ.

Sometimes we unconsciously get in the habit of keeping personal life and spiritual life separate, when really they should be intertwined. Too often I hear of students feeling overwhelmed by school work or stressed about this relationship or that friendship. We are in tune with God during life group and church and worship, but then when it comes to school or social life, it can be easy to set God in the background.

The Price Of Authenticity

Everyone wants to be real.

Everyone wants to be authentic and vulnerable and deep.

We all want to skip past the first impressions, the small talk, the acquaintances stage of friendship and dive into the murky unknown of someone's soul.

I see it all over social media...

"I hate small talk. Let's have real conversation about life, your soul, something deep, blah blah blah."

Our society is begging for honesty and realness. We're done with the how do you do's and surface level conversation, and there is a craving for something deeper. There is a strong preference of having meaningful conversation rather than cheap and empty words.

But are we really ready to create the atmosphere of vulnerability that the world is craving?

I don't think so.

The world is crying out HONESTY. VULNERABILITY. AUTHENTICITY.

And yet we're not willing to put in the work to get there. If we expect more than cheap words, we have to be willing to pay the price for authenticity. I think there are two basic roadblocks to reaching our goal.

Boredom Is Not An Option

There's always a call to more.

We will never master Christianity. We will never run out of things to know about God, the world, people. We never have to be bored.

I've been silent in writing for a while, not on purpose... just out of busy-ness and an absence of thoughts to write about. It's funny because I'll randomly get a thought sometimes of "wow, I should write a blog post on this," and then when I sit down to write, I suddenly become apathetic or unwilling to make myself think. I have to consciously will away thoughts of unworthiness or inadequacy.

But that's not what I want to focus on in this post. Something the Lord has put on my heart lately is the fact that there is always something more to learn. There is always something to be doing or learning to fill my time with. I should never experience boredom in my walk with Christ.

Life Is Not Always Friday

My favorite days are and have always been Friday's.

I've always had school on Friday's, but that feeling of being done with school and it's finally the weekend... well, that's my favorite feeling. Pure freedom.

Some thoughts:

I live a blessed life. I go to school at the best and most beautiful university. I live with my best friends. My hair is growing at an acceptable pace. I now have friends all over the country... all over the world in fact. I serve a God who faithfully meets with me everyday.

I have so much to look forward to in life, but I pray that I would serve God just as faithfully even when I don't have so much to look forward to. The whole "I will praise You in this storm" theme comes to mind when I say that, but I don't think we regularly dwell on that when life is going as it should.

It's actually easier for me to be in relationship with God when life is going well. It's easier for me because I credit all good things to come from Him.

But when storms do come, when I have a torrential downpour of days that don't feel like Friday's, it's hard for me to cling to God when I need Him the most. I get distracted and try to balance everything on my own during a time that I should be depending on Him the the most. In feeling that He has turned His favor from me, I turn my back on Him.