Hi, 2017

Hi, 2017.

I'm excited to meet you, as so many are.

I'm aware that we are already a whole 48 hours in to the new year, so that makes me a little late on posting my New Year's thoughts; but I hope my non-conformity/writing slack won't discredit me.

I'd like to say I don't fall prey to the idea that everything up until January 1, 2017 doesn't matter anymore and the whole "new year, new me" quips; but I do. I do fall prey. I don't think I can help it! There's a full 365 days ahead of me that I can do whatever I want with, and I never truly appreciated that until now. We tend to remember events in our lives by the year, and it's exciting to think that 2017 remains unblemished. There's something so thrilling about "new-ness." Something officially clean of whatever has happened in the past, and the fact that we can claim this year as our own.

But as beautiful as you are my new friend, 2016 was kind to me; and you have big shoes to fill.

A year ago, I was entering 2016 with anticipation and anxiety; for I would be spending exactly half of the year in a place of complete unfamiliarity. But what an adventurous half it turned out to be.

2016 gave me people. It gave me people from Australia and New Zealand and South Korea and all over the U.S. I love those people. I wish I could take every person's hands into my own and communicate how much their friendship is treasured... but I can't because that's literally so many people, and also that's weird.

I'll always look back on this year with a smile, but I won't say it didn't come without heartbreak.

The winter break has given me a lot of time to think, and my conclusion is that somewhere along the way, I lost myself.

The Roommate Diaries - Christmas Portraits

Happy finals week to us all!

On Saturday, the roomiez and I decided to take a break from studying to spend some time together and get some good pictures of all of us. We had so much fun hunting down artsy walls and good lighting in downtown Baton Rouge! I hadn't gotten to use my camera in a while, and I realized how much I missed it.

Merry Christmas from ECA 911! Please enjoy these pics of my model roommates.

Dear God, You're Invited

I am a person who has to do things herself.

I will not ask for help. I don't like asking for help.

I can prove that I am strong enough, smart enough, capable enough... just enough to do things on my own.

I hate googling actors that I recognize in movies but can't place, because I know I can command my mind to remember this trivial piece of information.

I hate going to SI sessions for school work, even if I'm struggling in the class.

I won't even take medicine when I'm feeling sick because I somehow figure I can get over it myself. I'm ridiculous, I know.

These little examples of my obsession with self-sustenance are funny and make you shake your head and distantly question my sanity. But what I've been noticing is the way these little things translate into bigger things that affect my relationship with Christ.

Sometimes we unconsciously get in the habit of keeping personal life and spiritual life separate, when really they should be intertwined. Too often I hear of students feeling overwhelmed by school work or stressed about this relationship or that friendship. We are in tune with God during life group and church and worship, but then when it comes to school or social life, it can be easy to set God in the background.

The Price Of Authenticity

Everyone wants to be real.

Everyone wants to be authentic and vulnerable and deep.

We all want to skip past the first impressions, the small talk, the acquaintances stage of friendship and dive into the murky unknown of someone's soul.

I see it all over social media...

"I hate small talk. Let's have real conversation about life, your soul, something deep, blah blah blah."

Our society is begging for honesty and realness. We're done with the how do you do's and surface level conversation, and there is a craving for something deeper. There is a strong preference of having meaningful conversation rather than cheap and empty words.

But are we really ready to create the atmosphere of vulnerability that the world is craving?

I don't think so.

The world is crying out HONESTY. VULNERABILITY. AUTHENTICITY.

And yet we're not willing to put in the work to get there. If we expect more than cheap words, we have to be willing to pay the price for authenticity. I think there are two basic roadblocks to reaching our goal.