It's New Years Eve.
One of my favorite days of the year, because I believe in reminiscing the past while looking forward to fresh starts and new beginnings.
This was a really good year for me. It was a happy year. A freedom year. Not to be dramatic, but it's easy for me to mark the last few years by some kind of heartbreak or hardship. I was reading my post at the end of 2018, and I'm exhausted just reading through that season of life. Let's not even think about 2016 or 2017... and so the ease of 2019 has been quite the pleasant surprise.
Life is not perfect, of course. But it has been a year that I feel like I've trusted God the most. Maybe all it took was that one big moment my senior year of college when He came through in a way only He could. That was one of those life events that changes you and shapes you into more of who you are today. You can't forget those kinds of things. Trusting God in the biggest moments makes trusting Him in the small just a little bit easier.
It's the best feeling in the world when you have someone you know always has your back... that's how I feel about the Lord these days. He has me, and I've never felt more sure that I am exactly where I'm meant to be physically, mentally, emotionally.
We grew up a lot this year. We learned to stretch our legs, get up, and keep moving closer to God and closer to people.
We learned how to work hard and become more of a strong, independent female. I grown such a fondness for my career with Disney and my art.
We learned how to press in to the calling and love people so deep that it hurts. I have such good people in my life. Sometimes my heart feels like it will explode bearing only a fraction of the weight of love the Father has for them. God teaches me so much about Himself through people.
And that's the shortest, sweetest, vaguest version my friends. God has been so kind to me. And He is still good and kind to me even when the year doesn't feel as easy as this one has.
What are we looking for in 2020? I'm honestly not sure... and maybe that's where we begin dreaming more. One of my greatest fears is settling, and so we cannot settle into this comfortable, happy little space. Even if that means going through some things - Jesus, bring me into more of You.
Less anxiety. Less overthinking. Less holding on to the the burden of others' opinions of me.
More self-expression. More speaking life into and over my people. More in-tune with Holy Spirit.
I'm ending the year with so much gratitude in my heart and the ever-present hope that the best is always yet to come.
Some unsolicited but very important memories below:
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