Someone To Fall Back On

One of my favorite movies is Bandslam.

No one has ever heard of it. It's not an award-winning, brilliant masterpiece. It came out when I was a prime teenybopper, and it's a cliché, angsty, coming-of-age film. Maybe I like it because I'm obsessed with Vanessa Hudgens. But I love it mainly because I connect with the characters so well. That coming-of-age feeling of learning who you are and bravely fighting to be that person wholly and completely.

I love the main character, Will Burton, because he is passionate about music and can't help but let that passion spill out of him. He's a little odd and awkward, but he is himself. I love Vanessa Hudgens' character Sa5m, because she is monotonous and angsty and the most confidently herself of them all. She knows who she is, and she doesn't ask for much. And I love Aly Michalka's character, Charlotte, because she is figuring out how to be the best version of herself. She is trying to be good and honest, and it's hard.

One of the best things about this movie is the main song "Someone To Fall Back On." This is the main chorus:

I am no prince,
I am no saint,
I am not anyone's wildest dream,
But I can stand behind
And be someone to fall back on.

I adore this song. It's a declaration of devotion and the sweetest form of humility and self-sacrifice in a world that demands attention.

I am consistently asking myself if I am this person... this "someone" to fall back on. I feel like this person, but sometimes not in the best way. Sometimes I carry this as a bitter chip on my shoulder. I don't claim to be the center of someone's world, the most important person in someone's life, anyone's wildest dream; and yet I still wrestle with feeling forgotten or taken advantage of. The weight of my identity is yet again placed in the hands of other people who will inevitably let me down. What other people think/feel/say about me begins to matter enough to significantly impact my emotional well being.

Which brings me back to Jesus. Our sweet Savior and most loyal Friend. What would we do without Him? He is gentle and patient in reminding us of who we are. We are still worthy and valued and enough even without reciprocation or applause. 

He gives us courage to be someone to fall back on with contentment and peace in our hearts. We can stand in the shadows and feel okay with our place in others' lives; even if that mean being overlooked. We can be okay with being a last minute phone call when life feels like it's crumbling or the frantic texts when the boy is acting a fool. Our pride might scoff at someone who only calls when they need something or only ever thinks of you a few times a year... but that's not what Jesus would do.

In every moment before we even remember, He is standing before, beside, and behind us with arms wide open, saying trust me, I got you. I think about all the times I run ahead of Him with eyes focused only on myself, and how trustworthy and kind He is to always be our Someone to fall back on. There is never a moment He leaves us in need, and I aspire to be as graceful as Him in moments when my humanity wants to be petty or cruel. 

There is a line in the song that says "You're wrong, you don't need much. You need someone to fall back on." And I think that's so beautiful and true. How honorable it is to be something to someone that they never knew they needed.