Love Is For The People That Don't Text First

I was on Pinterest the other day (as all productive stories start), and I saw one of those inspirational quotes that said something along the lines of "Only invest in people that invest in you" or something like that. 

You know the kind... the ones that say only make time for those that make time for you. Or don't waste your time on people who don't give you a second glance. They are motivational and powerful and really get your blood circulating and spirit of independence rising. 

But reading those types of quotes don't really give me a good sense of peace. 

There's actually this feeling that reminds me of how I'm supposed to live exactly opposite of how the world says I should live. That I serve a Jesus that calls me to a higher standard than this. 

My former campus pastor Ali Buras once had a conversation with us during leaders' lifegroup that I'll never forget. It centered around our struggle to love difficult people and how choosing to really truly love the people in our lives is hard and painful and ugh, why are we even doing this and isn't there an easier way? And I remember her asking what if we were so committed to loving people that we were willing to risk getting hurt? That our hearts would be willing to break carrying the burdens of people we love? Wouldn't it be worth it to connect them to Jesus? Maybe love when it is done well involves some pain because it involves sacrifice. It is the laying down of our pride and comfort zones. I think this is the type of love Jesus was talking about when He said, "Greater love has no man than this: that he lay down his life for his friends." This is the type of love that Jesus is. 

And I don't think this is the type of love that only chases after people that always reciprocate or show interest in you first. Love is not selfish and can't be reserved only for those that can give something back.

Now I understand there are such things as healthy boundaries within friendships/relationships. I'm not saying you should be taken advantage of or make someone your best friend who is obviously using you. A strong, healthy friendship is one that will involve equal giving and receiving of investment. And I think most of us can tell when we're being taken advantage of and when we're hiding behind the excuse not to pursue someone just because it's hard. Pain isn't the goal here, but a willingness to risk is. 

Guess what people... love is hard. At least the kind of love that endures the not-so-fluffy stuff and lasts for the long haul. Wow, am I thankful that Jesus has the kind of love that pursues me even when I don't feel like pursuing Him. I think of all the times I've been far away from God and how He would always be right there when I turned back to Him. I am constantly in awe of the fact that God knows when we will wander away from Him, and yet still takes us back and loves us just the same. Think of how painful that must be to watch the ones He loves most choose all the other things that will never satisfy. And yet, He doesn't pull away for the sake of protecting His heart. 

I think of all the people in my life that were intentional in seeking me out even when I had nothing to give back to them, when I was frustrating and immature and hard to get close to. Even when I slammed the metaphorical door in their face and wanted to pull away, I've had college roommates, lifegroup leaders, parents, and friends that came in close and knew what I really needed in moments of darkness. I am thankful for those people. They are examples of relentless love. 

What if we were so committed to love that it wouldn't matter if we got something in return? What if we were willing to pursue people that have nothing to offer us? What if we didn't give up on people when they make us want to tear our eyeballs out? I think this is the kind of love that turns heads and changes the atmosphere.

This is the kind of love that operates out of security. Maybe one of the reasons we hold back is because we're afraid of putting ourselves out there without reason. What if everything we give isn't reciprocated? What if we look desperate or like we care too much? What if we fail and are left feeling like a fool? Welcome to the risk. Not to throw the Jesus card... but uh, Jesus laid down His life for people that He knew would never follow Him, knowing the heartbreak He would endure. Again, we're not loving others to get something in return. We're chasing people down with intensity and loving fiercely and laying it all out on the table because we know who we are and what we've found. This kind of love doesn't need the affirmation of others to keep showing up. It doesn't change or depend on others' approval or opinion. People deserve a chance to know Him, and one of the most effective ways of sharing that is breaking the world's rules of what love looks like. 

So yes, I will make time for the people that never text me first. I don't want to hesitate in reaching out to someone simply because my pride says they should initiate. I will answer the phone for the people that just need someone to listen to them. I will be intentional with the people that are hard and don't know what they need right now. I will keep showing up for the people that do things that make me want to recoil into my comfort zone, and I will be someone to fall back on. 

Yes, there is risk here; risk that our hearts may break, feelings may hurt, and comfort zones may be abandoned in the process. But there's not a risk as to whether or not it will be worth it. Whatever is done in love is not done in vain, whether we see the results in this lifetime or the next. I have to believe that every effort to love like Jesus will not return void. Because if there's the chance that someone will pause and think of how much greater the love of Christ is, then it's all worth it in the end. It's all worth it to bring someone even an inch closer to knowing Him.